The Bangus Ultimatum

Something I forgot to tell you guys. I was “invited” by a fraternity last semester. I told them, very very carefully, that I was delighted and honored (both true, but I was also equally terrified), but joining a frat just isn’t in the cards. I really don’t have anything against fratmen per se. Early on I have learned to make a distinction between status and conduct. I’ve had friends and officemates who were fratmen and they’re among the most decent persons I know. Every now and then they’d show me a scar or tell me rumble stories and I’d go: “Hahaha. Good for you, ol’ chap!”

No, none of the usual stereotypes and nightmares are responsible for my reluctance. You see, it’s not them. It’s me.

I have trouble with archaic, formal titles. Lord Chancellor. Grand Archon. Knight Commander. I am deathly afraid that one day, I will have to approach one of these people and it’ll go something like this:

Knight Commander: Initiate Ba�ez, how is the fund drive going?
Me: Uhm�The fund drive, yes. Er.
Knight Commander: Well!?!
Me: Knight Commander, sir�The orcs have taken the east side of the river! We are in dire need of reinforcements!

You see? I just can’t say Lord Chancellor or whatnot and keep a straight face. I just don’t have it in me.

Word is that they will be reconfiguring the Admission Process this year. No, it’s not because of the unfortunate death of Miriam’s son and the admission interview’s involvement in it. The official line is: We consider the line of causation too attenuated to even begin to think about our liability. The suicide, though unfortunate, could have been precipitated by a whole lot of other factors than a lousy interview six months back. So there.

I myself can’t find a proper justification for the interview. I consider it too singular and catastrophic (both in the emotive and mathematical senses) to serve as a logical indicator for “law school potential”. At best, it is a useless variable and worst, just another forum for law professors to bully and abuse. I don’t know enough about the latter aspect, but damnit, can someone please explain to me how that interview is a suitable threshold requirement for the UP College of Law?