Guilt Trip
Hey! Ever wondered how those people you see on CNN feel whenever there’s a bombing, a disaster or see the families of victims of crimes? Wonder no more! With WiFi-SM you can feel other people’s misfortunes like they were your own! Just stick this small chip on any part of your body and you’ll be connected to the P2P (or Pain 2 Pain) Network!
“It automatically detects the information from approximately 4,500 news sources worldwide updated continuously and analyses them looking for specific keywords such as death, kill, murder, torture, rape, war, virus etc.. Each time the text of the news contains one of these keywords, your WiFi-SM device is activated through the WiFi network and provides you with an electric impulse. This impulse is calibrated so that you can feel a certain amount of pain, but is completely safe.”
Geez and I thought being Catholic is enough to give you a lifetime of guilt already.
(found via Red Ferret)
One Comment, Comment or Ping
petrol
From what I remember when I was Cath, it ain’t so bad. Plus, where else can you find an organized system of belief that makes it easy? Wait, easy?
Step 1) Rack up on sins. Nothing huge or drastic. Nothing in the Big 10 and you’ll be all right.
Step 2) When you feel like it: Confessional. This is where you go to download your sins (think “Purge”), get chatty with the customer service rep (aka Father) and get guidelines on how to defrag your soul.
Step 3) Perform necessary utilities (1 OF, 3 HM, 1 GB, &c.) and come out of church feeling so fresh so nice and so clean clean.
Ykwim :)
But why bother with religion? Religion’s the very reason why I flirted with Communism and eventually turned to the solace of Buddhism. Where you’re buddies with Big Fat Jolly.
Sep 18th, 2003
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