A Pinoy Blog About Nothing

…for all my snide remarks about Kris, I’d have to give her credit. It’s not easy to step away from an abusive relationship.

It’s not about being macho.
It’s not about being who’s right.
It’s not about being who’s stronger.

If he harms a hair on you, you cease to become a human being to him.

It’s an issue of controlling your behavior, of objectifying who you are.

Abuse here isn’t just about physical abuse.

“Violence has multiple causes, but it remains fundamentally a learned behavior that is shaped by sociocultural norms and role expectations that support female subordination and perpetuate male violence.”

and

“Emotional abuse represents a method of control that may consist of verbal attacks and humiliations, including repeated verbal attacks against the victim’s worth as an individual or role as a parent, family member, co-worker, friend, or community member. The verbal attacks often emphasize the victim’s vulnerabilities.”

Seemingly innocent statements like babae ka lang or eh kasi babae kaya ganun perpetuate such violence. You’re being denied your right to be alive, to chase your dreams, to follow your heart just because you are a woman. You’re being denied your right to be.

You think his mind games are cute? That the casual put downs about you are just that? Wait till he thinks up of a reason to be angry with you. Some emotional abuses lead to physical violence. No one deserves to be on the other end of a slap, a punch, a kick, or a daily serving of put-downs, man or woman, self proclaimed taklesa man o hindi.

Check out Kalakasan, The Kababaihan Laban Sa Karahasan Foundation, Inc. The issue cannot just be dismissed because we have other supposedly important problems to focus on. You’ll feel differently if it happens to your sister, your mom, or your close friend.

Update:
I was looking for local statistics on violence against women. Today, the Inquirer ran a story about it:

According to division chief Sr. Supt. Yolanda Tanigue, they (Women and Children’s Concerns Division of the Criminal Investigation and Detection Group) recorded a total of 2,381 cases of battering of women from January to June of this year.

This means a total of 397 women are battered and abused each month.

Mind you, these are just the reported cases.

And of course Rina Jimenez-David’s take on the issue is far more eloquent, not to mention more authoritative, than what I can say on the matter: “Good Women, Bad Choices” and “Not just ‘away ng mag-asawa’”.