A Pinoy Blog About Nothing

If you want a date movie, this should work. It should make for an interesting after-movie conversation. If you’re just curious about Hitch though, wait for it on DVD. You won’t be missing much. It’s much like a Pinoy movie in that the funniest bits are already in the trailer. This movie wouldn’t have worked without Will Smith and even then just barely.

Smith plays Alex ‘Hitch’ Hitchens, a date doctor who helps out romantically challenged individuals who pine for the women of their dreams. He runs into Sara (a hot Eva Mendes), a feisty gossip columnist whose take no prisoners attitude had her going home from a vacation 4-days early to hand in a scoop. There’s also Albert Brenneman (King of Queens’ Kevin James) who plays the ‘overweight yet his heart is in the right place’ foil of a junior accountant who seek Hitch’s help to pursue socialite Allegra Cole (Amber Valletta). Of course in romantic comedies like these, it’s only a matter of time before each of these character’s paths crossed either by the Mistaken Identity Gambit or the You Totally Misunderstood - That Wasn’t What I Was Doing Maneuver.

Outside the very sparse plot, it becomes a series of episodic encounters albeit these are funny encounters. Hitch and Sarah meet cute, a prerequisite in these rom-com movies. Hitch proceeds to impart lessons on wooing women Yoda-like to his padawan Albert who promptly flips back to the Dark Side of the Force. Hitch is so smooth with women he guarantees at least 3 dates before he relinquishes control to guy to be ‘on his own.’ And yet, Sarah proves to be a challenge to this much in-demand, smooth talking modern-day Cyrano that Hitch’s encounter with her DOES NOT go without *ahem* a hitch. Why oh why doesn’t the formula work with her? Could it be…oh no! It can’t be!

Predictable as it may be, Smith makes the movie enjoyable. Mendes may not be made for comedy but she holds out ok. Whenever Hitch tries out one of his too slick lines on her I can’t exactly tell if Sarah misses it completely or she’s so tired of hearing it she just lets it slide off her. But we’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. She has her moments on the screen playing the straight girl against Smith. Kevin James still plays his King of Queens character Doug only with a suit on. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

There are many memorable quotes in the movie. Hitch’s observations are funny only because they’re true to some extent. “Any body who went to high school knows that hitting is good” he intones as Albert and Allegra go about their courtship. And the excuses women give for not going into a relationship? Hitch lists them all and decodes them for you. Everything except the ‘I’m going to wash my hair’ routine.

You can see how this all will turn up even before stepping into the theater. But movie going, in certain cases, isn’t always about the ending. Sure it’s entertaining enough. You won’t be missing out on anything though if you don’t catch it immediately. But it’s the sort of movie you go to escape from your 9 to 5 drudgery or ducking out from the traffic or if you have time to kill. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.