A Pinoy Blog About Nothing

(may contain spoilers of Revenge of the Sith)

“On Management” written by the Jedi Council

Excerpts:

1. Micro-manage! If faced with serious conflict, make sure you send your top executives to every front of said conflict.

2. If your senior executives are micro-managing and are away from headquarters on official business, do not under any circumstances leave a senior officer at the headquarters full of trainees. This would give the trainees a chance to grow and manage should an emergency arise.

3. When receiving information of great importance from a young junior officer, do not reward nor praise him. Don’t even promise to promote him. In fact, send him back to headquarters to stew about what he has just done.

4. Numbers matter. Be confident that in conflict resolution, your back will be literally covered by thousands of clones made by someone you don’t really trust. Nevermind if they were clones of someone who had tried killing one of your senior officers once before.

5. Be careful which ledges to hang dramatically from.

6. In critical missions, always make sure your droid would be able to defend itself.

7. Body armor are for Ewoks. A well-pressed tunic and robes are the marks of a good Jedi.

8. If faced with a high-ranking opposition leader, always have the courtesy of allowing him to draw a weapon. If you have surprised an opposition leader without armaments, you can stall for time by doing a monologue on how you’ve come to arrest him and stop his wicked plans.

9. Forge friendships with big, furry people. You’ll never know when you’ll need a piggy-back ride.

10. When taking on a padawan, mentors should continually mention how brash and undisciplined their young charges are. This will help them sort out their own feelings and motivations. Also, mentors are not asked to explain important decisions concerning their padawans.