Planet X a la Onion
NEW PLANET FOUND! NO NAME IN SIGHT!
MILKY WAY - While trying to avoid what officials said to be “that nasty business” with Uranus, scientists are scrambling to find a suitable name for the new found planet, Planet X.
“We can’t keep calling it Planet X,” said one highly paid nerd. “We already received emails from Marvel Comics and Spike Lee about the use of X”.
While they’re also avoiding the use of ‘Virgin Planet/Virgin Territory’ unless billionaire Richard Branson gets on their case, the world’s eggheads are hard pressed to find a suitable name. It is reported that Branson is also trying to change the name of the state of Virginia, laying claim to the Virgin Islands, and has sent a letter to the Pope to cease and desist the use of the Virgin Mary throughout Catholicdom.
On a related note, US developer Donald Trump said he is offering to name the planet after him, saying he wanted to fulfill his lifelong dream to silence his critics who has said he “has an ego the size of a planet.”
“It’s only a matter of time before Disney lays claim to Pluto,” said the same four-eyed walking brain. “It’s a shame really. We have several names for it but we’re still checking our Star Trek, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy references and a lot of sci-fi books to make sure no one has used it yet. It’s a tough one.”
Advertising execs have joined in the search for a name of the planet. “We’re trying to avoid the ‘named after ancient Roman gods’ theme. This is a new planet. A hipper planet. An exciting planet. It should reflect that. It should be edgier. It should be now. It should end with a vowel.
“We have a couple of name studies going through focus groups right now. All I’m saying that it should skew younger.”
Leaked materials indicate that some of the names being considered by the agency are: Earth 2: The Sequel, Ize, Zero Cool, Planet Next, Outtathisworld, and ExTerra.
8 Comments, Comment or Ping
banzai cat
Harr! Funny one, mark. I love a good skewer in the morning. :lol:
Aug 1st, 2005
ibalik
i say name it shaniqua.
Aug 1st, 2005
Angela
pero parang mas maganda parin yung after roman deity name. wala lang, hehe.
kung pilipino ang nakadiskubre ano kaya ipapangalan nila? hohoho.
Aug 1st, 2005
markmomukhamo
Thanks Banzai! With all these IP cases being thrown left and right it made me wonder how they’ll come up with a suitable name for a planet. Don’t they usually name those after the discoverer? Or was that just for stars and meteors?
Ibalik, I met a Snaniqua and she was as big as a planet. So that’s very apt. And it ends in a vowel. heh.
Angela, pag Pinoy magbigay ng pangalan niyan malamang may ‘h’ - Plahnet X. But yeah they should continue with the Roman gods thingie para consistent. But who else is there after Pluto, God of the Underwearworld?
Aug 1st, 2005
Angela
si vulcan. hehe. or Vhulcan. XD
Aug 1st, 2005
markmomukhamo
Pede rin si Vhulcan. Kaso kakaunti ata gulong dun. hehe
Aug 4th, 2005
banzai cat
“pag Pinoy magbigay ng pangalan niyan malamang may _h_”
Arggghh… Please, don’t. *cringes* :-P
Aug 5th, 2005
markmomukhamo
Banzai, well it can also be repetitive like Jun-jun, Ann-ann or Let-let. Since it’s a planet it could be…ooh I don’t know…Net-net? :D
Aug 5th, 2005
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