Just FOB-ulous!
It’s been a year since I’ve arrived here in the US. It’s a wonderful experience and an adventure only made more meaningful because I’m sharing it with my best buddy.
But it’s not always fun and sunshine here in the Sunshine State. You sometimes get the occasional local meanie or the ignorant or the arrogant Oreo (brown on the outside white on the inside). I especially hate the term FOB. FOB means Fresh Off the Boat. It’s a demeaning term for anyone who have just arrived in the US. It’s a mean term. Some Pinoys use it sa mga bagong salta, conveniently forgetting they too were once FOB.
Well, I aim to reclaim FOB. For me FOB should be F*cking Obvious Ba? Global economy dudes, global rules. If you haven’t been FOB, you haven’t been anywhere.
A few realizations this past year:
I knew I was in a different country when I realized everyone around me was speaking Spanish.
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Never ask someone from the Philippines, especially someone you’ve just met, that your caucasian cousin married a Filipino named Santos and you were wondering if I know them. It’s like me asking you if you know a John Smith.
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When non-Pinoys remark how Pinoys are so meek and humble, I always love telling them the story of how the .45 magnum pistol was invented.
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Stop asking me about how much do women charge to have sex in the Philippines and I’ll stop asking when the women here will start flashing their boobs for beer.
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I do not live near the Rice Terraces. I do not assume that you live in a trailer park, even if you look like you do.
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No, I have never eaten, tasted or even licked a dog. But you might be a redneck if you thought I did.
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Yes I eat rice. At least I’m not obese.
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You shouldn’t be worried that I’m after your job. You should be worried that the boss will find out you’re lousy at it.
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If just by looking at us, you starrrrt speeeeaking slowwwwly eeeven beforrre youuuu eveeen askkkk usss what weeee waaaanted tooo orderrr, we will leave you a 10 cent tip.
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When asked where I learned to speak English I tell them “From the Street. Sesame Street.”
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Yes we’re shorter than you. Live with it.
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I know you’ve come here to retire, but please don’t do it on the highway.
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Yes sir, I know you were in the Philippines in WW2 — and we’re thankful for that — but we have repaved the roads and that rubble where you saw the horde of Japanese are probably gone by now.
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Mexicans come from Mexico. Cubans are from Cuba. People from the Philippines are not called Philippians.
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Sure I’m not fashionable but at least I’m not drowning in debt.
18 Comments, Comment or Ping
Resty
Hey, this is a classic in postmodern literature!
Aug 11th, 2005
banzai cat
Har! Even on the internet, I still get the last one. Philippinos. Heh.
Aug 11th, 2005
Angela
Same experience! Lalo na iyong history teacher ko sa high school, she gave me a 35/40 mark sa isang paper and then she asked me privately kung bakit daw ako marunong mag-English eh di naman daw ako nag ESL or TOEFL. HAHAHA. Kung alam lang nila barok pa ko sa lagay na to. Ahehe.
Dun naman sa mga Oreo, naku, nagkalat yan. Sarap pagtitirisin.
Aug 11th, 2005
jove
ang galing nito, mark!
Aug 11th, 2005
renan
Yes I eat rice. At least I’m not obese.
now, that’s something i’ve never heard before. :)
Aug 11th, 2005
Lynn
Philippino. Oh gods, I really hate it when people spell “Filipino” that way.
I think I’d like to make my own post similar to this. Like how CONDESCENDING Filipinos who’ve lived here a long time get towards Filipinos visiting from the Philippines, or how Filipino-American kids think they’re so cool and look so much hotter and how their relatives think they should go back to the Philippines to shoot for stardom when in reality a lot of them aren’t even as hot as they think they are.
Aug 11th, 2005
Junnie
so it’s cuter these days, OREO na pala, whereas before COCONUTS sila…i just hope and pray that we the next gen wont turn out to be the same like them in the future…we wouldnt know…
Mark, ano nga ba kotse mo ngayon…o e bakit yan ang binili mo??? o e TV mo, HDTV? ilang inches? ang liit naman (magkumparahan ba? hindi na lang magkanya kanya at matuwa sa suwerte ng kapwa pinoy)
Aug 12th, 2005
mirsbin
congrats, naka isang taon ka na!
sobra akong naaliw sa post mo.
Aug 12th, 2005
Markmomukhamo
Thanks everyone! Glad you enjoyed that. Gamitin ko sana sa stand-up routine ko someday. heh. ;)
It’s not easy but I can definitely say coming over here has had its moments. Nothing like being in the Philippines though…crazy politicos or not.
Aug 12th, 2005
pen
uy, happy first FL anniversary (tama ba to? hehe) sa inyo. natawa ako sa veterans comment. i also do get that comment a LOT, esp. sa Publix, heh! either ikukuwento na nila yung Bataan or what they did in Subic.
Aug 13th, 2005
Markmomukhamo
Thanks Pen! Ako lang actually…si misis mas matagal na dito kaysa sa akin.
Madalas din mangyari sa amin sa Publix (more kay misis dahil cute sya and non-threatening). Ba’t kaya ganun? What’s with Publix? Mas gusto ko na yung alam kung saan ang Pilipinas kaysa mga ignorante na di pa nakakalabas ng county. Sila pa yung maiingay.
Aug 13th, 2005
Tin Tin
LOL. I’ve also seen it spelled “Philipino”.
And yes, I too learned English from the Street. Which is more than can be said for SOME PEOPLE, eh, Mark? :)
Aug 16th, 2005
kassie
this is sooo cute! nadaanan ko na yang PHILIPPIAN!! hahaha!!
Aug 15th, 2006
kai.balbin
“Yes I eat rice. At least I’m not obese.”
PANALO! longtime reader, first time na nagcomment. commentator? aha.
Dec 14th, 2007
markmomukhamo
Hey Kai!
Thanks for reading! Nice to know you’re out there. :)
Dec 14th, 2007
Joy
HAHAHA. 2 years later this was posted, I found it. I laughed so hard I snorted. Thank you.
Two weeks ago, I was at a party and the question of “where are you from” came about because we all concluded that people here in Scottsdale, AZ all come from other places. I instinctively said Vancouver, being that it’s my home for 8 years now and we were talking about resistance to the cold. The older man from San Diego, CA asked, “But ORIGINALLY you’re from PI right?” Naguluhan tuloy ako, Pee-Ay…never had the Philippines referred to as PI by anyone here. I was PO-ed tuloy.
Dec 18th, 2007
benedetta
OMG ^0^! this is outstanding! LOL srsly.
i receommend if u have a facebook account better create a group with this
blog, it will definitely sell ;). i’l be ur first member! srsly i hope u make a group for this in facebook coz gusto ko mabasa ng mga hindi pilipino yan =)
Rock on!
Feb 5th, 2008
markmomukhamo
Hey Benedetta! Thank for the kind words. I appreciate your suggestion regarding the Facebook group thing but frankly I’m cutting back on my involvement with any social networking group. :)
If you want to put up a group using the post above, please feel free to do so. I only ask for an inclusion or a mention of the url. Thanks!
Feb 12th, 2008
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