appeared in Manual Magazine October 2004

Four years in the Philippines has made Lana Asanin more wary. But some things never change–the feisty Spanish-Yugoslavian is still as blunt as ever.

***

While I was interviewing Lana Asanin, 26, for this article, a fellow walks up to her and chats her up. To tell you the truth I’d been uneasy because of the stares and whispers occurring all around us. Obviously, their either recognize Lana or are simply admiring this statuesque beauty clad in simple jeans and a tank top. They swear they’ve seen her before but just can’t remember where. So when the fellow walks up to us, I think he’s an old friend of Lana’s.

“Hi, I met you once at Thai In A Box in QC.”

“Oh, hello!” says Lana cheerfully as she offers a handshake.

“Nice to see you again,” says Walk Up Guy.

“You too,” Lana replies, although from her face you ca tell she’s trying to remember the exact circumstances of their last meeting. And then…

“What’s your name again?” asks Walk Up Guy. Lana is nonplussed and says, “Lana.”

Then Walk Up Guy asks for her phone number.

I should’ve intervened, I guess; we were, after all, in the middle of an interview. However, I thought it would be interesting to see what she would do, bad host be damned. Very calmly, Lana took a piece of paper, scribbled on it and gave it to Walk Up Guy. “Thank you. Call you soon,” says Walk Up Guy, pleaseed with himself. “Do you get that a lot?” I ask. “I gave him the wrong number,” she whispers, smiling. Lana Asanin is not a household name. Not by a long shot. She would be however, the first one to tell you that she should be.

There have been several articles written about Svetlana in the newspapers and magazines. The articles invariably tell of her controversial pictorial for the German edition of Playboy taken when she was just 15 and how she moved to LA to pursue a modeling career when she was 18. It details how she uprooted herself again to follow a Thai lover and their eventual breakup. How she found herself in Manila to pursue her love of modeling (she’s done numerous print and TV commercials here) and then the inevitable entry into show business, where she featured in forgettable comedy and action movies, had a stint with the long-running noontime show, Eat Bulaga, hosted the dance TV show Eezy Dancing, and the served as local correspondent to the E! Channel.

I ask her about her Playboy shoot and how it was made into an issue by the local media. Apparently, one showbiz hanger-on who had a grudge against her discovered the pictorial and leaked it to a reporter hoping it would derail her burgeoning career. The move backfired and it only made Lana more popular than ever. That taste of showbiz intrigue did, however, leave a bad taste in her mouth.

“Why do people pull me down?” she starts. “I don’t understand why people can be so evil. If you don’t like [someone] I’d say that’s fine, but I won’t go out of my way and ruin her life and do shit like that…and for what? There are people you like and people you don’t like. I’ve never experienced that in my life before, maybe because I’ve never been in showbiz until I got to the Philippines.

“But here people get too much into your life and I don’t like that. [They go] too deep in your life and try to find things and ruin you. And that’s not nice! There’s a part you want to be left alone. That’s the price of fame but, like I’ve said, if you cannot like someone that’s fine, but you don’t go out of your way and do things. [That's] spiteful, you know?”

What hurts even more is that she had already paid her dues by the time the pictorial came out. Her conservative father and mother were understandably upset. Although she appreciated her parents’ protectiveness, she nevertheless pursued a career in modeling. Her parents eventually acquiesced to her chosen profession. They did, however, want her to become a flight attendant.

“My father just wanted to fly for free,” she says laughing.

I asked her is she’s willing to do it again and pose for Playboy.

“You know, I’d do it again if I’m in the States,” she answers after a few seconds. “You know how many people in the States are in line [for the cover]? It’s not easy to be on the cover. People don’t understand that girls are dying to be on the cover. The money’s good. It’s a nice pictorial. Why not?”

“I mean, big deal. Showbiz and modeling are two different things. When you model and you’re nude it’s a work of art. Like Cindy Crawford and Kate Moss. No big deal. A lot of models pose nude. But if you do a movie [nude], that’s pornography. That’s a different thing. And you tell these people, and you know how many times I’ve told these people? They don’t get it.

“You can’t think of somebody like Cindy Crawford as a bold star. How many stars in the States have posed for Playboy? Nancy Sinatra posed for Playboy. I can mention so many of them. Like Tia Carrere. How about her? She’s half-Filipina. Filipinos should be proud of here. Is she a bold actress? No, she’s not. She’s a great actress. And respected. And that’s what people don’t understand. And they just don’t get it.”

***

I was late for the Manual shoot. I dropped by earlier to say hello and just missed her as she went to dress up for the pictorial. She managed to wave at me on her way to the dressing room, dressed in her sweatpants and shirt. I just learned about some snag before the shoot. She didn’t look too happy.

When I came back later I found her at the shoot location. Photographer Erik Liongoren had arranged for the shoot to be held in this depressingly dingy part of the parking lot. Compared to the gray overcast sky (courtesy of a typhoon on its way to Hong Kong), the shoot was a small oasis of light. In the middle of it all is Lana. (Svetlana, of course, is Russian for “sunlight.”) It’s hard not to stare at her when she’s made up like someone from the roaring, raunchy 1920s, displaced by some odd quirk of fate to a dull lifeless parking lot in Manila 2003. Whatever got her upset earlier doesn’t seem to affect her now as she gamely poses in front of the camera.

“I just like being in front of the camera,” she tells me. “I’ve been modeling since I was young. It’s funny I’m saying that now because when I first started I was so shy. Totally different. But now when I’m in front of the camera I can do whatever I want. I’m a different person, in a different world. I can be free.”

And indeed the camera seems to love her in return. Clients love her versatility as she can easily project different looks with ease. She has appeared in ads selling products as diverse as gasoline to candies to coffee creamers to beauty products. One look at her magazine fashion portfolio and you’d think you’re looking at different people. Here’s Lana as a pouty bombshell in a bikini. Here’s Lana looking like a glamorous, brooding film star from the 60s. Here’s Lana looking like that hot neighbor of yours across the street…

But surely, someone with Lana’s talent and beauty could easily move to greener pastures like Bangkok, Singapore, or Hong Kong, places where she has in fact, had a chance to work before. What’s keeping her here?

“I had opportunities…I have opportunities…in the States and back in Germany. But I threw it away because I believe in this country. I like the people. When I’m here, everyone’s…friendly. But it did change a lot. I wish people would see me in a different way. Like they say don’t judge a book by its cover. You’ll never know,” she said.

I mentioned that in her previous interview, she said she can’t call the Philippines home yet. I asked her if her sentiments have changed.

“I’ve been here four years. When I just got here, I didn’t know how long I was gonna stay. But from then on until now is four years. [Laughs] I guess I did enjoy it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy it despite all; I do like entertainment. Like I’ve said, I love being in front of the camera. I’m still happy with that. From that time one, when I said I don’t know how long I’ll stay, I did have a lot of fun.

“It did change, yeah. I guess because of all the things that really happened in between. It’s been really, really hard for me. People just don’t realize that I’m here on my own. I don’t have my parents. There’s nobody to look after you. Nobody I can lean on and whatever. And that’s just because you’re straightforward and people talk around [you]. I know a lot of people don’t like me, but they can’t tell me the truth. So I lose a lot of jobs because of that.”

***

Lana shares one story which belies that she’s the “tough chick” some make her out to be. During one of her nights out with friends in this notorious bar and restaurant in Makati, she went up to the counter to pay for her drinks. The place was crowded. She placed her brand new Guess bag – in it she had her brand new Nokia 6610 cellphone, a brand new Canon digital camera, and some cash- on the counter. She turned around to talk to her friend and when she looked again a few seconds later to check on her drink, the bag was gone. She thought that it merely fell, but it was not on the floor. She tried asking help from the staff, but they ignored her. Out of frustration and anger, she cried.

***

For someone who’s seen much of the world, for a host of a television show that features the hottest parties around, Lana is surprisingly enthusiastic about the serene beauty of Boracay. “Boracay is my favorite place. I just…I love Boracay. It’s amazing. Whenever I go to Boracay, as soon as I enter that banca and then enter Boracay and the beaches…all the problems, everything is like in your head…it’s all in the back. You’re in paradise. It’s a place where you can relax; think about your life, what you want to do. It’s beautiful. It’s a romantic place. That’s why I like to go there. If I have time, I go. Even when foreigners ask me, I always tell them Boracay. You will see, you will love it. I’ve been to Bangkok. I’ve been to Samui, Phuket, there’s nothing like Boracay. It’s so different…

“I did that Boracay coffee table book [Lana is on the cover of the Boracay Lifestyle]. The first ever coffee table book on Boracay. It shows the beautiful beaches; of course…it’s more like a tourism thing. It’s going to be in embassies all over the world. A lot of foreigners live Boracay. I myself have always wanted to buy a book, you know, when you travel you want to know what’s the best place to go, where can I go party, when I can go eat. That it is.”

With one-off projects like the Boracay book, Lana hopes to go back to here modeling and hosting gigs. “I know my E! thing is not there anymore but there are so many jobs out there that I know I could do but nobody gives me a chance. Nobody says ‘Oh, Lana could do it.’ They’d just put somebody who just took of her clothes and is popular now. Why don’t you put someone who really has a clue about what she’s talking [about]?”

***

Walk Up Guy comes back around an hour later, just as we are wrapping up the interview. He approaches our table and hand Lana his business card. From the look on his face, I can guess he tried calling the number Lana gave her and got a totally unexpected reply.

“Hey, here’s my card. Call me sometime,” he says.

Lana just smiles. Of course, she leaves the card on the table.

As we walk out, she turns to me and says, “Hey, isn’t Mars out tonight?” Yes, I answer, but the weather is not cooperating and the cloudy night sky will frustrate any attempt to view the Red Planet. We bid our goodbyes and I watch Lana, this tall, striking woman cut through the crowd. Like sunlight in a darkened room.

appeared in T3 Mag August 2004

P26,495 Perhaps the sweetest portable digital music player out there

While the iPod certainly has the world-renowned design team of Apple to thank for its looks, it has also been plagued by problems with its battery life and the issue of limited portability – tunes uploaded to an iPod can’t be downloaded to another PC (natively at least). The IRiver iHP-140 has notched victories on both counts. Not only does it have a 16-hour battery life, which makes it a great travel companion for activities like lounging on the beach (charge once for an average 3-day vacation) but it also enables you to use it like a portable storage device, in case duty calls. It is very much like walking around with a 40GB hard drive. And your music isn’t trapped in your player.

On a laptop running Windows 2000, the iHP-140 appears as an external storage device. Double-click on its icon and you can just drag and drop your MP3, Windows Media Audio, ASF, WAV, and Ogg files. You can also import text files into its directories. You can then read these text files via the player’s display window. Drag and drop JPGs and AVIs and you can port these to another computer with a USB connection. All these without any hacks. Quick and dirty backups – without the hassle of installing software to recognize it – is one of the iHP-140′s strongest points.

While the iHP-140 comes with a remote, its standard navigational interface is a joystick. The unit has three buttons on the left, one on the right, and the 5-way joystick itself on the face. Navigation for the player is through the joystick while the side buttons are only there for a quick adjustment of certain features or for stopping and resuming playback. The joystick navigation is a bit slow if you have a huge library loaded but thankfully, scroll speed can be adjusted. It took some time getting used to the navigational idiosyncracies of the iHP-140 – the volume for example shows a display scale going left to right, but to increase or decrease the volume, you have to push the joystick up or down instead of left to right. Or was that right to left?

Fiddling around with the SRS, WOW and adjustable EQ feature, you can produce decent sound on your headphones or plug-in to an external speaker. The sound adjustment makes for improvements on the dynamic bass and functions in the same way as a crossfeed amp which simulates a 3D soundscape.

Other features of the iHP-140 include an FM tuner, a voice recorder (using the built-in or external microphone), an MP3 encoder, a line-out and OGG Vorbis-format compatibility. The OGG Vorbis compatibility is potentially significant because this format allows for low-bit rate compression (resulting in smaller files sizes, ergo more files to squeeze into the 40GB drive!) without sacrificing audio quality.

All of this comes in a device the size of one handful. Place it in your pants pocket however and there will be no mistaking that it is there. Though no iPod in the looks department, with standard black casing, smart leather carrying case and huge storage capacity, the iHP-140 certainly comes off as a macho-looking portable music-player. Delving deeper into its features however, you can see it’s capable of some finesse and allows for customization that provides a better listening experience. Sweet, indeed.

appeared in T3 Mag May 2004

P20,500 IT’S SEXIER AND BETTER THAN THE POPULAR T610, BUT…

Long-time Ericsson phone fans will tell you that while its phones are versatile and full of features, less charitable people may call them “bugly” – functional but brick ugly.

With Ericsson’s partnership with Sony, Sony’s impeccable design sensibilities seem to be rubbing off. The Sony Ericsson T630 is a straightforward modern phone with the good looks to match. With its deceptively elegant iPod-ish design, the T630 possesses a good balance of features and form. At 102mm x 43mm x 17mm, the T630 is a bit smaller than its predecessor, the T610. The white translucent plastic keypad, slightly curved edges and overall sleek look seems like it was designed at the Apple labs.

Sony Ericsson also deemed it necessary to design the back of the T630 to look more like a camera. Small, cute additions like the mirror below the camera lens – to help you take those tricky self-portraits – are nice flourishes and very much appreciated.

BRIGHT SPOT

With the Sony Ericsson T630′s 65K color TFT display, the menu options and the screen saver clock can now be seen under bright light — a major complaint among T610 users. The display also makes for some awesome-looking games for the T630. The phone comes pre-loaded with the classic arcade game Q*Bert, which will come as a pleasant surprise for any child of the 80s. Other equally good-looking games available for download via the Sony Ericsson site include Deep Abyss, Mini Golf, and V-Rally 2. These games mostly serve to highlight the T630′s great display.

THE SAME, BUT DIFFERENT

The Sony Ericsson T630 interface bears some similarity to the user interface found in the T610 and Z600. The T630 uses a joystick that makes navigating through the now more intuitive menu structure easier.

The “My Shortcuts” icon has been replaced with the “My Friends” icon – a shortcut to a subset of your contact list, allowing easier sharing of files, pictures and sounds. By using the profiles of each “My Friends” entry, you’ll find out if your so-called friends are available for contact and you’ll be cued which method of contact they prefer.

Like in most of the new SE phones, setting up the SMS, MMS, e-mail and WAP access is fairly easy with the Sony Ericsson T630. There’s a great degree of control for configurations particularly for e-mail, where you can sync using IMAP and POP3 servers; however the T630 will not be able to download even the simplest attachments. For those of you who missed the T9 function in the P800, the T630 offers this input method along with the tried and tested multitap method; T9 can be quite a hassle when you’re writing Taglish in your messages.

The Sony Ericsson T630 also offers some control for audio and picture files. If the 32- channel polyphonic tones aren’t enough for those ringtone fans in the house, the Music DJ application allows the user to compose his or her clip and enable it to be shared with friends. There’s also a picture editor application that will let you draw moustaches on pictures before you share them.

MEMORY GAME

While the Sony Ericsson T630 is a more camera-oriented phone than previous SE phones such as the T610 and Z600, it doesn’t offer any major improvements from earlier models. While the TFT screen allows you to take pictures without a light trail, you’re only limited to taking CIF (288×352 pixel) pictures or smaller. There’s the “extended photo” option that stretches 288×352 photos using software interpolation to 640×480 pixels. This would have been a neat trick if extended photos didn’t come out pixilated and obviously blown up. To round out the camera features list, there are also night, sepia, black and white, and negative modes available.

Perhaps the only major complaint anyone could have about the feature-rich Sony Ericsson T630 is its lack of memory. With just 2MB, there will definitely be some sacrifices in the type of applications you’d like to keep on the phone. At the rate we’re acquiring phone numbers and information on the T630, the 2MB threshold was reached within 2 weeks.

Weeks passed before we, as Dominique called it, “started over” and began talking again. She felt betrayed that I misconstrued her attention as something more than friendship. Looking at it from her perspective, I sincerely felt bad. It’s been four years since The Incident happened. We see each other whenever she’s in town and give each other advice on our current romances. The Incident has actually strengthened our friendship.

Mixed Signals

I could have lost my good friend Dominique had I insisted on pursuing her. It could’ve turned ugly; I could’ve accused her of leading me on. But come to think of it, she didn’t treat me in any special way. She was just naturally friendly with people and affectionate with all her friends, me included. Hindsight, after all, has perfect vision.

But I’m not alone. Many female friends have told of amusing stories of clueless boys who follow them around, figuratively running full-tilt, eyes closed into a brick wall. From their stories, these boys sound like the densest of the male species to ever walk the earth. “How,” girls ask me, “can they be so assuming?”

But for guys, that’s what it’s all about. The game. Does she or doesn’t she like me? We read your little actions and gestures and respond to the signals you may (or may not) be giving off. If you don’t protest when we “accidentally” place a hand on your nape, most of us will take it as an open invitation for some “accidents” to happen. Some of your common sweet gestures we take as “you-may-proceed” signs: (1) That lilt in your voice when you say “Good night” on the phone; (2) That casual peck on his cheek when he picks you up at your house; (3) When you casually hold his hand while malling.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not accusing girls of being the bad guy when a boy feels led on. Sometimes we do look for the minutest hint of mutual interest from you, like “Hey! She flicked her hair in my direction! It’s a sign!”

Want to keep your friendship with guy friends strictly non-romantic? These tips may help you straighten out a potentially messy situation.

Drool for your Idol
We hate it when you gush about Brad Pitt or swoon over Keanu Reeves. That’s how Cindy successfully kept wannabe suitor in the friend zone. When Bob began getting all sweet on her (with very little prompting from Cindy), she went on and on about her crush – Jakob Dylan of The Wallflowers – every time he was around. She raved about his eyes, his voice, and how’d she’d like a boyfriend just like him. Bob eventually backed off. He realized he just couldn’t compete with a rock star.

Stop Being “One of the Guys”
It’s a bonus for us guys to find a girl we can just hang with. Larry, who was into hiking, photography, and rock climbing, hit it off with Annette because she was game for anything. She joined Larry and his group, whether it was scaling a 40-foot wall or shooting seascapes in Anilao. But while Annette was enjoying what she loved doing with new friends, Larry was getting a different vibe. Here was this amazing girl who shared his hobbies and in whom he saw a potential girlfriend. Annette’s solution to keeping it platonic? She stopped going out with Larry and started hanging out with the others more. Larry got the hint without resenting her, and they still hang out once in awhile.

Spell it Out
If we guys are out trolling for a girl and she doesn’t bite, we’ll go and search for other fish in the sea. So if you’re serious about staying just friends, be direct and say so. He’ll listen. Don’t just hope he’ll get the message. I promise you he won’t. Sure, we’re supposed to be hunter-gatherers and good at figuring out maps, but some mind games girls play aren’t exactly our cup of tea. So don’t keep quiet – say something. We aren’t telepathic. If you say you’ll think about it, you’d better because Romeo will be waiting for an answer. Never say, “I don’t know.” Even that much-abused “friends na lang tayo” will work. But until you haven’t said no, nope, nyet, nada, zip, zero, or you-don’t-have-a-snowball’s-chance-in-hell in plain language, he’ll hound you to the ends of the earth.

Don’t worry about losing a bud if you come clean about your just-friends feelings. If he’s sincere about staying pals, he’ll behave like one. (But don’t expect him to jump for joy when you first confront him. Let the dude wallow for a while.) A heart-to-heart talk may do wonders for your friendship – sans all that tension, you can be more yourselves. I wouldn’t be able to ask Dominique for advice on romantic matters now had I kept my feelings for her bottled up. It also helped that she was open to staying friends despite my affections.

But if he starts acting like a jerk after you clearly tell him you can never see him other than as a movie buddy or a rainy-afternoon-phone-pal, then walk away. You’re better off without him. Guys will back off as soon as you tell them to – unless of course he’s an obsessive stalker-psycho-freak. But then that’s another story.

appeared in FHM Philippines Magazine

You know how parents get whenever you go out of the house? They tell you to make sure you go to the bathroom first before leaving the house. The logic behind such a command was that you don’t have to bother yourself and more importantly, you don’t have to bother them with the request to pull over or find the nearest bathroom to relieve yourself.

Anyway, after some 20 odd summer trips with the family and the innumerable impromptu movie outings, I have been trained to go the bathroom before stepping out of the house and using a motorized vehicle which will presumably take me away from the last decent water closet in the whole world.

Along with this priceless knowledge and my recently acquired college education, I was finally going on a summer adventure to the exotic places of Southern Philippines. First stop was to Cebu to visit some college buddies and to pay a visit to my aunt. I decided that since I have all the time in the world, I shall go there via the Super Ferry. I mean from what my friends and relatives have told me, it’s safe and clean unlike the old ships. I decided to give it a go since I have never been on one.

The morning of my trip came and I was excited. What lies ahead? What kind of people will I meet? More importantly, what kind of girls will I meet? I had a heavy breakfast sausages, tocino, fried rice, eggs, coffee and orange juice. I made sure I had the energy for my adventure. After which of course, I went to the comfort room.

So I said goodbye to my mom, got a cab and endured the traffic to the Port Area. Once I got there, I was assaulted by a mob of porters who wanted to help me with my luggage. They disappeared as soon as they realized that all the luggage I had was strapped to my back.

I found the departure area and found out I was an hour early. I bought a newspaper and sat down near the airport-style boarding gates. Half-way through the ed-op pages, I felt a slight twinge in my belly. I ignored it. But then by the time I got to the sports pages and reading about a certain PBA player’s recent use his of knuckles and elbows my stomach was in full protest against my last meal. I stood up and looked for the men’s room.

This is what it’s all about. Go the toilet before you leave so that you don’t have to worry about messing about your things, cleaning yourself and risk the chance of missing a flight, a bus or in this case, a ship. But I found the row of comfort rooms to one side of the terminal. I mean no big deal right? The worst thing that could happen is that it might be a really dirty public toilet right? I reached for the knob of the men’s room door and surprise! It was locked.

I panicked and tried jiggling the door to make sure it was just stuck. It wouldn’t budge. I looked around to search for one of the building maintenance people but I couldn’t find one. The terminal was packed with summer vacationers and their families. I absolutely have to go. I could be crass and describe exactly at what state I was at that point but you can use your imagination. Let’s just say my underwear was getting serious skid marks.

I looked down saw a sign which apparently fell off the door and got trampled upon by a horde of passengers:”Under Maintenance. Sorry for the inconvenience.” Inconvenience my ass. I was desperate. I was breaking out in cold sweat. My skin was getting clammy. Did you ever get that rude email about how to tell the different kinds of bowel movements? Well I know exactly what kind I’m having already. It’s the wet, smelly, slushy type which was destined to consume half a roll of my Joy Bathroom tissue.

Just then when I was about ready to embarrass myself in front of everyone and was ready to cancel my ticket and my summer adventure for long, a smelly ride home, an idea born only in times of desperation went off in my head. And just as that basketball player’s favorite motto I didn’t have to think and just went for it. I rushed to the door of the ladies’ comfort room, yanked it open and went in, saying excuse mes and sorry to the startled women as I went to the very last stall which was mercifully vacant.

I plopped down on the ivory throne, closed my eyes, and had the best crap I’ve ever had in my life. Nevermind the offended women outside or the smelly payload which I was sure was wafting out of the stall, bouncing from the white tiles to fill the small room. This was the best crap I’ve had in my life.

Baylans:Hack the Culture
Issue 1 of 3, 36 pages, B&W, colored cover, digest format
Php100 (Wired Planet Sutios/Alamat Comics)

Sometime in future, this comic book postulates, the Philippines will be rid of a certain actor-politician via a violent military takeover. The country is then plunged an inevitable civil war. Different factions, each with a different agenda, each with its own methods strive to rally as many followers as possible for the confrontation that lies ahead. There are the cults in Banahaw, the armed rebels in the mountains, the military in Metro Manila. And then there’s Jonas Arcanghel and his group of hackers, the Baylans.

Jonas and his group aren’t just hackers in the sense we’ve come to know the word. Aside from tapping into sensitive military information that he sells to the rebels, Jonas also has the ability to tap into the ancient magic practiced by the ancient ancestors of the Filipinos.

The creators of the book weave an ambitious plot to marry the sensibilities of high-technology fiction popularized by William Gibson, Neal Stephenson, et al. With Philippine pagan mythology, the result is ike encountering a child born of Filipino-Caucasian parents: interesting, but inevitably you don’t quite know how to relate to it.

To be sure, the what-if scenarios poised by the comic book are interesting. The bemustached actor-politician getting shot in the head by soldiers because of his ineptitude is a cathartic experience for these days, even if it just happens on the page.

The supposed “military-industrial complex” in the future Bonifacio City would serve enough fuel for local conspiracy theorists (not to mention some consumer groups). The appearance of the M.I.B.s-men -in-barong- the official invesigation arm of the government on paranormal acivities was a hot.

But the first issue doesn’t try to explain or even offer a hint a background to these things. Thus the reader is left alone to cope with this strange new Philippines presented before him.

The art by Anthony Yap also suffers because of the comic book’s digest format. Yap was able to show the grime of Metro Manila’s slums or the inside of an underground club both of which he peppered with enough details to convey that this indeed might be the Philippines in another time and place. The details in some pages, however, are reduced to blotches of lack because of the decision to print smaller than the usual comic book size.

While the whole art style was meant to convey bleakness of dystopian Philippines, where it seems like violence will erupt any moment, the creators saw if fit that it should also come with a soundtrack. Here, they employ the work Food, Shelter & Clothing, a group of Bacolod-based punk-industrialist musicians. The 15-track CD (sold separately) by the group aims to complement and add some rural atmosphere to the Baylans landscape. Surprisingly, it works, unlike Stone, the Sony Music/Whilce Portacio collaboration.

But the first issue leaves a lot of questions to be answered. Yes, it sets the mood for the further adventures of Jonas and the Baylans but ultimately the major threads must come to some satisfactory closure by the end of issue 3.

Baylans has an interesting premise, and promises to explore a unique alternative future of the Philippines. Hopefully, the people behind the comic book can offer more clarificattion to a convoluted story through less cloudy visualization of their vision.

Crest Hut Butt Shop #2
20 pages, B&W, colored cover, Digest Format
Php30 (Komikero/Alamat)

Gerry Alanguilan is not Wasted. The creator who made a splash in the local scene by his cult classic (currently being serialized in PULP) wants you to know that he has a sense of humor, too. Crest Hut Butt Shop is his latest independent effort. In Crest Hut, you’ll see none of the angst-fueled episodes like that of his Eric in Wasted.

Alanguilan retains his style:the stark black and white with very clean-though not necessarily straight – lines, which betrays his background in architecture and his apparent abandonment of the use of a straight edge. Perhaps it’s the experience of working in the digest format which enabled Alanguilan to make full use of that particular canvas, experience that the creators of Baylans didn’t have, which resulted in the muddy frames for that book.

Alanguilan’s work has definitely been refined from his earlier work. Definitely more disciplined than Wasted, Dead Heart Stories, and the first Crest Hut Butt Shop , which appeared three years ago. That is not to say the art or the story is less quirky.

And it works. Crest Hut is a peek into the life of a nameless protagonist whose everyday first person retelling of his (mis)adventures becomes a riveting if not always entertaining read by Alanguilan. The reader is treated to tales of nearly headless chickens, a cat named Mimiws, Internet addiction, the travails of being fat and other such concerns.

The tone of the stories swings from funny to melancholic to bittersweet and back to silly. You might be reading about a chicken execution on one page and then treated to eerie premonitions of death the next. Crest Hut is a knowing wink at how life-Pinoy life specifically can be a collection of these mini-adventures if we just open our eyes a little bit and appreciate the little pleasures we can derive from them.

Culture Crash #2
38 pages, full color, digest format
Php 75 (Culture Crash)

If Baylans borrows from the West, Culture Crash lets its appropriations stay in the East. Japanese style comic book conventions and sensibilities pervade this particular offering. Aside from the dialogue, the setting, the odd tricycle of jeep, this book is more Japanese manga than anything else.

The book utilizes manga archetypes:super-deformed characters, mechas, magical creatures, anthropomorphic animals and such. The second issue, like the first features four stories each tackling different genres of manga.”One Day, Isang Diwa” is about Jun and his fairy friend Diwa’s adventures after moving into a new school, Makopya High and meeting the new kids in the neighborhood. “Pasig” follows the adventures of a female manunubos (bounty hunter) as she takes on a mission that brings her back to her old neighborhood near the Pasig river. “Cat’s Trail” is about a pair of thieves on a huge maya in an adventure through an unknown countryside. “Solstice Butterfly” is set in what was previously known as the Philippines.

It is 2135 and the different countries coalesced into five nations. Of course, with each country pursuing their own agenda, they settle their differences using a bunch of huge robots piloted by college kids.

The book itself is lovely. The full-color presentation is probably the best so far from a locally produced comic book. The art is fairly consistent all throughout, undoubtedly aided by computer coloring and lettering. These are the book’s strongest points.

The challenge for the creators is to develop the characters from these four stories and have the reader like them within the allotted ten pages. Only “Pasig” and “Cat’s Trail” succeed in this regard. “One Day” found it necessary to reintroduce the characters in issue two, and “Solstice” can only be fully appreciated if one were familiar with the hefty backstory.

Still, the comic book is an interesting read. The articles on the music, movies, games and gadgets buried in the back pages though offer nothing new, but it would’ve been great if those pages were devoted to any of the four featured stories instead.

PULP: How’s Japan?
Andy Bell: Top fucking class, man! (Our Gigs) have been fantastic, others are just fine.

P: Where are you guys off to after Japan?
AB: We’re doing a couple of gigs in Europe and then we’re off to America.

P: How’s your wife and daughter?
AB: They’re fine, thanks…they’re missing me right now.

P: You mentioned in previous interviews that your favorite Oasis songs are “Live Forever” and “Wonderwall.” Any favorites on the new album?
AB: Yeah.”Rollover” – that’s the one I like best. It reminds me of…I dunno. If just sounds cool. Fucking cool!

P: Same one as Noel’s (favorite). Liam’s is “I Can See a Liar.”
AB: Right. It’s simply the best on the album.

P:Why do you like that song?
AB: I just love the lyrics and the melody and the production. It’s as simple as that. It’s uplifting.

P: I heard that Noel wants to do bass and let you take over lead guitar, which you did for Hurricane One. Do you see that happening any time soon?
AB: If it does happen it’ll be on the next album.

P: What can we expect from the Oasis, given the new lineup?
AB: Musically, the gigs will be the same but mainly better. I think we just want to be there, on that stage. Whereas the other two guys who quit didn’t want to be there, that’s why they left. The five of us really do want to be where we are, we really want to be doing it, and we’re happy to be doing it, and we’re happy to be there, we really want to communicate as best as we can to the people who are listening. So the gigs are gonna be great. And I think when the new line-up gets into the studio to make a new album, I think you’ll notice the there’s a good atmosphere there too. But we’ll have to wait and see when that happens.

P: Being an accomplished musician yourself, how do you feel about joining Oasis?
AB: Well, I have to use all my musical skills to help do these bass parts. It’s not a simple option playing bass. I need to uses everything I’ve got and it’s good to be stretched and I’m happy to be stretched and it’s good to keep on being stretched.

P: Can you say the new album is conscious effort of Oasis to come off as more mature or is it just a natural progression as musicians?
AB: I think it’s the latter, a natural progression.

P: So it’s not just the effect of Oasis laying off the drugs and booze, it’s their natural progression as artists?
AB: Yes, I think so. Actually it’s hard to say…especially when you haven’t been there when it was being made. I just think they’ve done three albums which kinda blast through in the same kind of rock and roll sound. Obviously after the three, you want to shift it a little bit. I guess that’s why it’s become a bit spaced… spacey arrangements and (there are) moments in the album where not much…it’s not prolonged all the time, it’s all spaced out, which I kinda like.

P: You can still see a lot of Beatles influence in there like Liam’s song “Little James.” What do you think we can expect of the next Oasis album? What musical direction is the band going?
AB: It’s very hard to say…

P: You have any idea who Noel was referring to in “Sunday Morning Call”?
AB: Uh…I don’t know.

P: If Liam accepted Robbie’s challenge for a boxing match, where would you have placed your money?
AB: On Liam, definitely.

When Magellan reached the Philippines he was surprised to find that there were people living on the islands, which discouraged him to go nude sunbathing. Also, his attempts to find a wife who would cook and clean his villa in Spain was frowned upon by the Chieftain of Mactan, Escabeche.

Escabeche refused to be converted to Catholicism because he was already a member of Iglesia ni Bathala. He was angry at Magellan because he insisted on sunbathing, flashing his lily-white European bottom. Thus Escabeche had all of Magellan’s luggage stolen and connived with the cab drivers to give Magellan a run-around. Magellan died while trying to break his bill to pay his cab fare. This was the first recorded tourism accident.

Upon hearing of fabulous beaches where one could go nude sunbathing, a bunch of other Spaniards came to the Philippines and stayed for 300 years.

Meanwhile, a dish was named after Escabeche for his heroism against the Europeans. For refusing to be cowed by the foreigners we now have the tasty dish, the sisig, in honor of Escabeche. His heroism, however, failed to inspire his fellow chieftains because frankly, they didn’t want a dish named after them.

Spanish Colonization

Under Spain, the Philippines learned most of its laws, labor practices, customs and of course, religion. Some of these practices are still wide spread in modern society. From the Spaniards, we learned that a message is more effective when delivered by a foreigner (see Stratfor analysis).

The Spaniards party was spoiled when an indio (Spanish word for really annoying person), who studied in Europe and learned that the Spaniards aren’t supposed to be vacationing in the Philippines, wrote two inflammatory novels, the Noli Me Tangere Episode I: The Spanish Menace, and its sequel, Noli Me Tangere II: Simoun Strikes Back. They were inflammatory because the Spaniards found out they made good kindling for burning. The Spaniards banned and burned the books because they objected to the portrayal of the hero Ibarra and Maria Clara, the first recorded love-team, in which they had no song and dance number on the beach.

The indio, Jose Rizal, was put to death via firing squad at the Luneta which would later on be called, Cheap Date Place. The event caused many Filipinos to be upset because they had to close the skating rink for the day.

However, Rizal already had a good following from his writings especially when they serialized it in komiks. One such fan, Andres Bonifacio, president of the Pepe 4 Ever Fan Club, Tondo Chapter turned his group into the Katipunan, a highly successful band. They initially performed at a row of drinking places found along Ateneo, the school which Jose Rizal attended before being sent to Europe. The road was later named after the band.

The Katipunan caused riots whenever they performed since most of their performances were cheap: they must answer “Jose Rizal” to the question “Knock, knock, who’s there?”

Their hits: “Anong Pag-Ibig Pa” and “Punitin ang Cedula” were frowned upon by the Spaniards because they were, to quote historian Conito Peninsulares “not radio friendly.” The band was declared subversives by the Spaniards and hunted down in the most Catholic manner of the Inquisition.

Ironically, Andres Bonifacio was not captured by the Spaniards but by fellow native, Emilio Aguinaldo, head of the Magdalo faction of the Katipunan, which was a boy band.

Depending on which historian you read, Aguinaldo had Bonifacio killed in Isabela to quell any resistance loyal to the latter. However new evidence shows that Bonifacio was abducted by aliens and later returned with the technology that gave us the LRT. We’ve immortalized this event by constructing a monument of Bonifacio at the end of the LRT line.

Aguinaldo declared himself the President of the Republic of the Philippines in Cavite on June 12, 1898. The Philippines became the first Republic in Asia to have a veranda on its paper money.

Note that during the Declaration of Independence, the Spaniards were still in the Philippines which confused them to no end and they had to have their tourist visas changed. This posed a problem when they couldn’t find the local Spanish embassy.

The Spanish-American War was raging and the Philippines was caught in the middle, despite being on the other side of the Pacific.

During the Treaty of Paris, Spain gave America the Philippines at a discount and a lifetime pass to the Annual Pamplona Running of the Bulls. America wanted the Philippines because of its sugar, because their Starbucks coffee doesn’t taste much without it. And they also wanted to go nude sunbathing on our beaches.

The American Colonization

The first American teachers were called “Boats” because that’s how they reached the Philippines — on board a boat called the Thomas. From the Americans, the Filipinos taught how to spell ‘apple’ even though they have never seen one all their lives.

Education was the American’s biggest contribution to the development of the Philippines as a nation. While the Spaniards feared that education would turn the Filipinos against them, the Americans saw it wise that their little brown brothers be taught the four r’s: reading, ‘ritin, ‘rithmitic and rap. So we be dope wit rhymin.

Because the Filipinos learned how to write and count, we can now spell “Balangiga Massacre” correctly and count how many people were killed by the Americans in Samar.

America was preparing the Philippines to stand on its own two feet through the Commonwealth Government headed by Spanish Mestizo, Manuel L. Quezon, who was named after the city.

However, before Quezon’s wish that he would like to see the Philippines run like hell by the Filipinos came true, the Second World War broke out.

A wealth of musical influences, a multitude of personas — but it’s all about love, baby.

There is an interesting song on A Brand New Day, Sting’s seventh solo album, called “Tomorrow We’ll See.” On it, Sting prowls the night as a gender-bending streetwalker. “Don’t judge me/You could be me in another life,” our favorite Englishman tenderly croons. It might be decades away from the Police’s “Roxanne,” in which Sting screeches “you don’t have to wear that dress tonight” to another pro, but it’s certainly familiar territory.

Yes, Sting’s songs traverse old haunts, but as the figure beneath the street lamp might take a familiar shape, the shadows play tricks to the eye — the form’s familiar yet you’re not entirely sure what lies beneath the surface. Sting still talks about love (what else is new?) in all its forms, albeit as strange as the image of Sting walking the streets in full female regalia. In A Brand New Day, amore — tragic, comical, transcendant but always, always powerful — still provides Sting’s impetus.

Although not as intense as Soul Cages, Sting latest outing is definitely its lyrical twin. He doesn’t fail to conjure the images of characters in his five-minute epics. More importantly, he doesn’t forget his sense of humor.

However, Sting is also still dabbling in country/western tunes (an Englishman doing country — imagine that!). On “Fill Her Up,” a game James Taylor plays the twangy big shot from the city against Sting’s gas station attendant. Never mind that one may not be too sure what to make of the song which goes from slide guitar to a gospel chorale, but it is fun to listen to.

It’s precisely these hybrid of rhythms, from the mid-eastern experience of “Desert Rose” to the bossa nova beat of “Big Lie, Small World,” which makes this album a memorable one. His collaboration with guests Stevie Wonder, Taylor, and Brandford Marsalis adds more dimension to his trademark quirky arrangements and vocals. There’s even a rap sequence on “Perfect Love…Gone Wrong” — in French.

The album’s actually World Beat. At the very least, with A Brand New Day, Sting makes up for the icy and lifeless Mercury Falling. Sting might not have reinvented the wheel here, but he certainly made it look nice again.

Profile: Ramon Jacinto

Ramon Jacinto lives in the 60s. His is the image and the name behind Bistro RJ, RJTV, DZRJ. Oh and don’t forget RJ and the New Riots. He is the Philippines’ version of Dick Clark, always youthful and always immaculate in his suit and slicked back hair. But to many of the Net Generation, he is a rock and roll dinosaur.

Yet despite how passe he might seem to a generation weaned on MTV and Sony Playstation, he has one contribution to Pinoy music which makes him one cool daddy-o: He built the radio station that gave birth to Pinoy rock.

When DZRJ started airing a nighly program called Pinoy Rock and Rhythm through the 70s, it nurtured the likes of the Juan de la Cruz Band, Anakbayan, Asin, Sampaguita, Mike Hanopol, Florante and Freddie Aguilar through the darkest days of Martial Law. DZRJ would organize rock concerts at the parking lot of its Sta. Mesa station, putting up makeshift stages out of flatbed trucks parked end to end. It was atop these pseudo stages where a young Pepe Smith would rise up a legend.

After Martial Law, RK bought a UHF station which aired a TV version of Pinoy Rock and Rhythm, just in time to witness the burgeoning band scene of 1994. “Live” sets of then up-and-coming bands like Color it Red and Tame the Tikbalang were taped in its TV studios.

Yet, despite all the different businesses he takes on, RJ still takes up his guitar and plays with the New Riots. Their repertoire consists mainly of 60s and surf music and seem content in keeping their music with Bisto RJ. Unless of course the Ventures make a comeback. “Sinasabi ko sa ‘yo…”